what's the point?

It really is better

Some time shortly after arriving in Eugene we decided that since there were no ATM's for our bank in Oregon, it would be wise for us get an account some place local. (Side note, months later when I finally got around to closing my account from NJ, the guy from the bank asked why. I told him there were no branches or ATM's in the state. He said, "There's an ATM in Portland, only 117 miles from Eugene" as if this would convince me to to keep my account.) So, in what seemed like an interminable wait for our worldly possessions to arrive from NJ, we headed off to a nearby bank to open an account. All goes well, until the rep we were dealing with suggests we take pictures for our check cards. We were not prepared for this at all -- unshowered, unshaven, I probably hadn't even brushed my hair.

"Do we really need to?" we asked.

"I'd highly recommend it. There is a high incidence of identity theft in the area." was his reply.

Well...we didn't want our identities stolen. Without our identities what do we have left! So, it was photo time, and oh what spectacularly bad photos they were. Mine especially. I had the stupid, "I'm trying to smile but I haven't the slightest idea how" smile on my face. My hair was a mess, I had like 3 weeks of unkempt beard. Not at all pretty. The only saving grace was that when our cards finally arrived in the mail a week to ten days later, our pictures weren't on them. We always meant to inquire about what had happened, but I wasn't in much of a hurry to have that picture shown to every grocery clerk and Target cashier.

All was well for many months, until we decided to upgrade our check cards to ones that gave us air miles with every purchase. Who can complain about free plane tickets just for spending your own money, interest free. Well, when the cards arrive with your horrible, mishapen features displayed prominently in the upper left hand corner, just about anyone can!

In any event, this is all preamble to today's story. I went out for lunch with some people from work yesterday to a cute little diner in Eugene called Braille's. It was a really good meal, I had pigs in blankets and some hash browns. The waitress was really fun, joking around with us, everyone's a friend! After we eat I go up to the counter to pay my part of the bill and hand the woman working the register my Check Card of Slovenliness (-1 CHA, +1 Air Miles, blackout date s apply). Now, most people are polite enough not to comment on how bad the picture, but not this time.

"Ooh, that picture's no good"

A little surprised, but not angry at all, I reply, "Yeah, we had just moved out here and weren't at all prepared to be photographed to open a bank account. The picture on my driver's license is much better." At which point I show her the photo on my license.

"Ugh." she says.

Ugh!! Gee thanks lady!

Posted by joshua at October 30, 2004 10:15 AM