Ahhh, the now-yearly trek to Vegas is once again complete. There are commercials that say "Vegas: What happens here, stays here" and that's probably a good idea for the most part. You'll notice an almost year-long gap in our Geekday pages after our first Vegas trip. We didn't think it would be nice to document the previous trip, what with all of the security and biohazard cleanup crews involved. However, Scott , (who likes to nap) and Matt both underwent dangerous and expensive procedures to have cameras permanantly implanted into their bodies, so it seems an awful waste not to make use of some of those pictures. I'm not sure where to start, but I suppose I can attempt to do this chronologically...

We arrived on Thursday (Sam and Kam were smart enough to arrive before that), and since we didn't get the group rate, we had a little time to kill while waiting for the rest of our party to arrive. Naturally, we chose to explore some of the cultural aspects of Las Vegas, including (but not limited to) sampling beer from plastic bottles and trying something called "shots" which also come in plastic drinking receptacles, but are instead filled with Jagermeister.

You'll notice that these cultural curiosities are not always pleasant:

And therefore only the strongest of us, with camera implants and lots of rest, can possibly consume all of it at once. Others did not fare so well:

The rest of that night is a bit of a blur (I'm told that can be an unfortunate side effect of "shots") and even the cameras seemed to malfunction. We know, at least, that there were white tigers involved:

The next day, a few of us set out in search of adventure, while the rest sat by the pool in search of skin cancer. I'd vote that the adventure-seekers had the advantage, since we found several places with air conditioning and got a good 4 mile walk out of it. One of our first adventure-filled stops included plenty of game-playing, which we were all very unfamiliar with. (We've all been to Space Camp, though.)

Matt tried his hand at being a rock star, and sadly wasn't terribly successful at it.

He also tried to be a cowboy, but got his ass kicked by a small girl. (We never did find the mechanical bull at the New Frontier, but since Thursday nights have free mechanical bull rides for the ladies, we will be heading there first on our next trip):

After his multiple failures, (they wouldn't let him lasso impala because he couldn't even handle the horse) Matt challenged me to a good old fashioned fighting match. He got kind of scared when I tried to kick his ass for real instead of virtually. There's a 4 minute video of the fight, but you'll have to go search for "Robn Kicks Ass" on Kazaa, or else harass Scott for a copy. As much as I rule, I'm not hogging all my space and bandwidth to prove it! Please Note: We might have actually known how to play if Paul hadn't pressed the button to skip this How to Control Characters screen that you see...

After I humiliated Matt (although really, how much can you humilate someone who just lost a horsey-riding game to a child?) I had to fight the computer. The computer cheats. Or at least knows how to play. Needless to say I was shocked to find myself defeated in the wake of such a stunning victory.

After that, we walked (the rest of the party in silent awe of my kung fu) to some of the other casinos in search of more adventure. We saw New York New York (which doesn't smell like urine, isn't covered in graffiti, and didn't have beggars on every corner. Although it did have a replica 9/11 memorial, which I found tacky and Joshua found acceptable.)

And Excalibur:

Then, in a fierce and pitiable show of frustration from his video game losses, Matt grabbed an innocent bystander and held him hostage until everyone in the casino told him he was cool. He threatened to cut the guy along the flaps, like a cardboard box.

In the end, he realized that it would all be ok, since he wasn't this guy:

Here is a shoe:

Here are some chumps and suckers:

We made it down to the far end of the strip and hung around at the Luxor for a little while. (Sadly, there were no men with gold cups from "mah bitches" like last year, but Matt walked into the bathroom with his camera out and ready just in case).

We went to see the reproduction of the tomb of King Tutankhamun, which I will forever hear in my head as being said by the guy on the audio tour tape, who absolutely made that tomb what it is today! No one would care if it wasn't for the guy on that tape. ("WELCOME!! To the Tooomb that I discovered in 1922, of King TutanKhamoooon!")

I think both Scott and Matt's implants became hyperactive in here, as evidenced further by the fact that they both took pictures of the awesome tour guide:

Oh look, more King Tut pictures!! (About 80 didn't make the cut)

We scouted for future heists:

The Aladdin, which is really quite swank inside (regardless of the fact that they tried to downplay the Middle Eastern theme by pretending it was Hawaii).

Every casino is built on the inside to look as though it were outside, in a better climate. What does that tell you about being outside in Vegas?

Here's Paris, which had a huge JumboTron screen on the side with an American flag and the words "God Bless America". I almost feel bad for the poor chumps who thought a French casino was a good idea. At any point, really. (That first image is from the inside of the casino).

Here's the Bellagio, where we lingered for some time planning further heists. We also saw "O" there, which was a phenomenal show. "Why do they always choose the guy on the wire?" If they had been selling penants that said "French Circus" I would've grabbed one in a heartbeat. They also host the swanky fountains that seem to shoot up 40 stories or so to the beat of suave Vegas music.

Of course, there was much gambling, buffet-eating, and picture taking:

Picture this: An Aussie, away from his native habitat. He has imbibed of local potables, reminding him of the Motherland. Our cameras secretly followed him, waiting to catch him in one of his native rituals of drunken debauchery. Instead, our cameras caught something much more shocking...

Now, picture this: A native of New Jersey, with a hot syrup fetish. Most of us love Vegas for the alcohol, gambling, and topless women. He loves it for the syrup alone. Last year he arose from a drunken stupor to marvel endlessly at the hot syrup at the Cafe in the hotel. This year, he decided to document it.

However, it wasn't enough that HE was given the bounty of hot syrup. Always considerate, he was happy for everyone that had been given hot syrup, and in his drunken state (approximately 40 minutes before he fell asleep face down in his own plate of syrup) decided to document everyone's syrup:

 

Continued....